


The Letter

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Paul receives a letter from his mum after her death which leads him to question Charlie about the past. Series 34.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 2





	The Letter

"I thought I'd find you here."

Charlie's head shot up at the voice behind him.

"I went to the house but..." Paul shrugged.

"Sorry." Charlie sighed as his fingers stroked one of the flowers that lay on the grave. "I thought you'd be on your way back to New Zealand by now."

"I was supposed to be but I decided to stay a little longer. Uni said to take all the time I need."

"You're welcome to stay at the house as long as you want." Charlie offered.

"Peter got a call from the solicitors this morning." Paul explained as he moved to sit down next to his stepfather. "Some things mum wanted us to have."

"Oh you should have said! I would have gotten that sorted for you."

"It's OK, the three of us went together." Paul paused for several moments, unsure of how to proceed. Finally he took a deep breath and pulled a letter from his jacket pocket. "Do you know when this was written?"

Charlie peered at the letter for a moment before giving up and taking his reading glasses from his inside pocket. He sighed softly at his late wife's handwriting on the envelope. "I'd say quite some time ago because..." He swallowed. "Her writing changed... Towards the end..."

"So she wrote this before... Before she got ill?" Paul gasped.

"I think so yes. Why?"

"So she wasn't confused when she wrote this?"

"I doubt it. Her writing is perfect. Why? What does it say?" Charlie pressed gently.

"It starts by saying if I'm reading it then she must be dead..." Paul choked back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. "That she's sorry she lied but she did it with the best of intentions. But now the truth must out."

"The truth?" Charlie echoed, utterly baffled.

"About my dad."

"Oh I see. About how he died?"

"No. According to this my dad didn't die before I was born."

Charlie sighed sadly. He placed his hand on Paul's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know it's hard but I was there that night. We tried so hard to save him but we couldn't. I was the one who had to break the news to your mum."

Paul pulled away and stood up, an angry look crossing his face. "When I was little I thought Ryan was my dad. Then mum sat me down and explained 'the truth'..." He practically spat the words. "...that my dad had died when she was pregnant with me but she wouldn't tell me how. Now, according to this, that was a lie too!"

Charlie stood up. "I know you're upset and angry but yelling won't help. What exactly does the letter say?"

"That you're my dad. But that's obviously nonsense right?" He let out a hollow sounding laugh. "Coz you and mum were just friends then right?" Seeing the way Charlie's face had gone pale caused panic to enter Paul's tone. "Right?!"

"W-what?!" Charlie stammered.

Paul held up the letter and began reading his mother's words. "I sorry I never told you the truth to your face, by the time you were old enough to understand I hated myself too much for the fact I'd lied to you both for so long that the words just stuck in my throat. I'm sorry you were robbed of the chance to have your complete family around you." He stared expectantly at the older man who looked completely stunned.

For several moments the only sound was the whistling of the wind in the trees that grew along the edge of the graveyard.

Finally Paul broke the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them. "This is the part where you tell me that its not possible, that you have no idea why mum would say something like that..."

Charlie's mind was reeling, his gaze fixed on the flowers. "I can't do that..." He murmured.

"Why not? You were just friends then."

Charlie chuckled darkly. "Your mum and me were never 'just friends'. There were times we crossed the line." He admitted.

"Crossed the line?" Paul repeated. "So you slept with her? Did it never occur to you.?!"

"That you could be my son?" Charlie replied, completing the younger man's thought.

Paul nodded. He wanted to be angry, so angry, but he couldn't.

"It was just after your mum's birthday. We'd had too much to drink and it happened. We didn't really talk about it afterwards, just kind of brushed it under the carpet like all the other times. I left for Canada and when I came back your mum pulled me aside and blurted out that she was pregnant. I didn't know what to think!"

"Why didn't you ask her?"

"She was already going through enough. I couldn't add to that. I presumed that if you were mine then she'd come to me and tell me herself." Charlie sighed. Though he understood why the betrayal still stung deeply.

"So you're my dad - what now?" Paul asked softly after a few more minutes had passed.

"Well that's really up to you... Son..."

"I miss her so much." Paul whispered, his voice childlike and cracking.

"I miss her too. Your mum was very special." Charlie sighed, reaching out and placing his hand on the teenager's arm.

The touch broke the last vestages of control that Paul had on his emotions and the tears poured out as he crumpled forwards into his father's arms.

Charlie struggled to contain his own emotions as he held the boy, for, despite his adult stature and age, that's what Paul still was inside.

Eventually Paul's cries calmed and stopped. He pulled back and chewed his lip awkwardly. Charlie smiled softly, it was like looking in a kind of distorted mirror, how had he not seen it before? If you were to draw an image of the perfect mix of him and Duffy, well, Paul wouldn't be far off the mark...

"We can talk about this when you're ready." Charlie told Paul softly. "There's no hurry. We both need time to get our heads round this."

Paul nodded. "I'm gunna... Go for a walk... I'll come to the house later." He shrugged.

"OK. I'll see you later. Take care." Charlie sighed as he watched Paul walk away, the teen's hands stuffed in his jeans pockets and his head down. He continued to watch long after the young lad was out of sight. Finally he sat back down on the ground beside his wife's grave. "I wish you'd told me." He whispered. "Back then or years later, it wouldn't have mattered when. I wouldn't have been angry with you." His fingers went back to stroking the petals of the flower he'd been holding when Paul had first arrived. "I'll look after him, I promise. I love you."


End file.
